I was amused to read today in a tabloid newspaper a report that said the British Nationalist Party (BNP), a far right political organization that’s been causing a stir in British politics recently, have apparently approached a martial arts expert to teach them “ultimate violence” and instruct its members in “deadly close quarter combat”.
The martial arts expert in question is Tim Larkin (pictured below), a former Navy Seal. Mr. Larkin apparently uses the slogan, “Fight to kill, fight to survive”, and also supposedly specializes in teaching people how to kill with one punch.
Needless to say, people are up in arms about this, with many wondering why a political party wants to train its members how to kill people with one punch (Duh!). Personally I would have thought the reason for this was obvious. Think about it. You’re a far right politician on someones doorstep and you’re trying to convert them to your brand of facism but they are refusing to buy it. Do you walk away or do you suddenly lash out and kill them with a single punch? A savvy politician would choose the latter option because at least when they go to the next doorstep the person who answers will convert straight away because they are too damn scared that they might be killed if they don’t!
A genius strategy it has to be said, and one with many more applications. Need a policy pushed through Parliment? No problem. Who’s going to go against you? What’s that Prime Minister? Did you just disagree with me? No, that’s what I thought.
Of course there is the possibility that all the rest of the political parties will recruit their own experts to teach them the ways of killing with bare hands. That would certainly make parliamentary debates a lot more fun, wouldn’t it? I’d tune in to watch a load of self-serving grey guys in suits pulling each other apart with their bare hands. It would beat caging fighting hands down, in my humble opinion. At least there wouldn’t be a million rules to abide by. The only rule would be kill or be killed. Simplicity itself.
I may offer my services to one of these political parties. I can’t think of a better to way to shake up the political system (i.e. eradicate it) than to teach the politicians how to kill each other. And if they turn on the innocent (not that a politician would turn on an innocent person, hell no) then we just kill them ourselves and plead self defense. Bam! The politicians are put out their misery and we get our countries back. Everybody wins!
So who’s with me….?
That’s what I thought…
